segunda-feira, novembro 27, 2006

State of Mind

You ought to know I'm feelin' very depressed.
I am.
No marvinisms in here.
And I get the thought I am depressing everybody around me.
Which is a really depressing thought.
Coincidentally, that is the main reason why I'm so depressed.

quinta-feira, novembro 23, 2006

Depressing sayings in english please. Fuck you. Part three: marvinisms (or "like you care")

Prelude explaining what is a "marvinism". Like if anyone cares. The phenomenon starts with the Big Bang.
Bang! There. It started. Now it goes on.There is a mind-bloggingly amount of crap that is been said around the universe since its dawn, but few lives on it have been so miserable and self depressing as Marvin's. Having a brain capable of calculating the hidrogen's emission's of a cubic parsec, he is told to move stuff around and to wait millions of years in a parking lot with nothing to do. Here is what he has to say about "life" and other ghastly intolerable stuff.

"I ache, therefore I am."

"Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where I'm standing?"

"Wearly I sit here, pain and misery my only companions."

"Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life."

"Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."

Marvin: "I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example.
Think of a number, any number."

Zem: "Er, five."

Marvin: "Wrong. You see?"

"Why stop now just when I'm hating it?"

"What's up?" [asked Ford.]"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin."And what happened?" pressed Ford."It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

Zaphod: "Can it Trillian, I'm trying to die with dignity."Marvin: "I'm just trying to die."

"Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without trying to invent any more of it"

"Life. Don't talk to me about life."

DISCLAIMER. I have written this to make me happy, not to get you down. I really find this not depressing, but hillarious.
Can't stop laughing.




(Don't worry if I get asfixiated in this laughing exercise. If life isn't good at me in this part, at least I know it won't last much longer. Thanks for worrying though. Or whatever.)

Depressing sayings in english please. Thank you. Part two: hellish definitions of common lies.

Just the continuation of it all. Please stop reading. It's pathetic on your part, trying to get yourself down consciously. Life already does it rather well on its own. I warned you. Here are the quotes. They come from a dictionary, the Devil's own.

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen."Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think."Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy."Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Short wasn't it? Here's another: Life's a bitch. And then you die.

Depressing sayings in english please. Thank you. Part one: life, the world, humanity and other

Understanding these three posts. Well yeah, I'm doin a trilogy of very depressed stuff I found out not by accident, but because a spider crawled into my head and climbed up the walls of my skull, wretching my brain while trying to make a web inside me, which is in itself a very stupid move. Why would a spider try to make a web inside my own head, if not for a lack of a brain capable of understanding that flies won't enter my head to be caught by it? The other possibility maybe that the soup I ate was a bit cold. I can never distinguish between the two, excuse me. Like I care. Anyways, I was explaining these terrible posts. They are wretched, and worthless being read. They are depressing. That said, I can't imagine why are you still reading this. But
as you still are, well, here are the quotes I gathered, myself and the stupid spider inside my own head.

"Life is tale told by an idiot, full of sound and furry, signifying nothing."-William Shakespeare
"No human thing is of serious importance."-Plato

"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over."-Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so."-Bertrand Russell

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."-Aldous Huxley

"A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with."-Tennessee Williams

"A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.I believe everything positively stinks."-Lew Col

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."-Calvin

"That which has been believed by everyone, always and everywhere, has every chance of being false."-Paul Valéry