Depressing sayings in english please. Fuck you. Part three: marvinisms (or "like you care")

Prelude explaining what is a "marvinism". Like if anyone cares. The phenomenon starts with the Big Bang.
Bang! There. It started. Now it goes on.There is a mind-bloggingly amount of crap that is been said around the universe since its dawn, but few lives on it have been so miserable and self depressing as Marvin's. Having a brain capable of calculating the hidrogen's emission's of a cubic parsec, he is told to move stuff around and to wait millions of years in a parking lot with nothing to do. Here is what he has to say about "life" and other ghastly intolerable stuff.

"I ache, therefore I am."

"Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where I'm standing?"

"Wearly I sit here, pain and misery my only companions."

"Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life."

"Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."

Marvin: "I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example.
Think of a number, any number."

Zem: "Er, five."

Marvin: "Wrong. You see?"

"Why stop now just when I'm hating it?"

"What's up?" [asked Ford.]"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin."And what happened?" pressed Ford."It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

Zaphod: "Can it Trillian, I'm trying to die with dignity."Marvin: "I'm just trying to die."

"Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without trying to invent any more of it"

"Life. Don't talk to me about life."

DISCLAIMER. I have written this to make me happy, not to get you down. I really find this not depressing, but hillarious.
Can't stop laughing.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

(Don't worry if I get asfixiated in this laughing exercise. If life isn't good at me in this part, at least I know it won't last much longer. Thanks for worrying though. Or whatever.)